Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.
This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.
I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.
I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.
As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.
who are you people?
how old are you?
where do you live?
what do you do?
do you come here mostly for roo?
Claire. 38. Australia. Finance. Came here first for Roo (too cute) but loving the city/travel pictures.
"We’ve been taught a woman’s body will cause men to sin. We’re told that if a woman shows too much of her body men will do stupid things. Let’s be clear: A woman’s body is not dangerous to you. Her body will not cause you harm. It will not make you do stupid things. If you do stupid things, it is because you chose to do stupid things."
"Feminists are routinely ‘accused’ of being lesbians or man-haters (as if the two are synonymous). Straight feminists often scramble to defy this stereotype by proclaiming their unfailing love for men and their affinity for bikini waxes. Some subtly distance themselves from lesbians by wearing buttons that claim ‘straight but not narrow.’ This is bullshit to me. If being called a lesbian is an insult to me, then I am an insult to lesbians. Any feminist who fears being called lesbian, or who fears association with a movement demanding civil rights for gays, lesbians, and bisexuals, is not worthy of being called feminist."
"In San Francisco last year, a man stabbed a woman in the face and arm after she didn’t respond positively to his sexually harassing her on the street.
In Bradenton, Fla., a man shot a high school senior to death after she and her friends refused to perform oral sex at his request.
In Chicago, a scared 15-year-old was hit by a car and died after she tried escaping from harassers on a bus.
Again, in Chicago, a man grabbed a 19-year-old walking on a public thoroughfare, pulled her onto a gangway and assaulted her.
In Savannah, Georgia, a woman was walking alone at night and three men approached her. She ignored them, but they pushed her to the ground and sexually assaulted her.
In Manhattan, a 29-year-old pregnant woman was killed when men catcalling from a van drove onto the sidewalk and hit her and her friend.
Last week, a runner in California — a woman — was stopped and asked, by a strange man in a car, if she wanted a ride. When she declined he ran her over twice.
FUCK YOU if you think that street harassment is a “compliment” or “no big deal” or that it’s “irrational” of us to be afraid because “what’s actually gonna happen.” Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you some more."
"99.9% of the violence is being perpetrated by men and somehow, men have had the luxury of being able to say, ‘It’s a women’s issue.’ And that’s a deeply mysterious thing, why that is." (x)
YES. Times a million.
(Source: oliviasbenson, via megwhat)
Beach 4. Narooma. Stunning. #southcoast #sunsandsea #beach #narooma
Beach 3. Mollymook. Wonderful. #southcoast #beach #mollymook #sunsandsea
Beach…nope pool day today. Perfect. 😄🌞 see ya later 2013 🍻 hello 2014 🍹#southcoast #batesmanbay
Beach 2. Broulee beach. Nearly perfect. #southcoast #broulee #sunsandsea #beach
Beach 1. South Rosedale. Perfect. 🌞#southcoast #batesmanbay #sunsandsea