Just ME. LoveYourLife.

The many sulks of Ithaka, her best human friend in the whole wide world is in hospital and she is not a happy puppy.

#ithaka #animals

First day in new job, it was exciting, nerve wracking and fun. I feel very lucky to be working in such a cultural place. It’s taken some time to get where I am but it has been worth the rest, doubts, many doubts, studies and achievements. I feel like I am where I should be now.

#careerchanges seriousburnout nomoreIT

Text The Sapphires

An Aussie film well worth watching. The girls in this movie are great. Oh with some Irish fella in it to.

#thesapphires

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Notes

Calvin: If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
Hobbes: How so?
Calvin: Well, when you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

Calvin: If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.

Hobbes: How so?

Calvin: Well, when you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

(Source: the-curious-stranger, via brooklynmutt)

Link 23
Notes That's What She Said.: Feminism: own that shit.

annetdonahue:

Today my friend Amanda got a message from an idiot. Here is that message:

Terrific. So first and foremost, let’s give Amanda 25925249248 rounds of applause for calling that shit out. Honestly? That takes guts. Guts I’m not sure I’d have if I were in the same position (he’s a promoter,…

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Notes

"Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s appearance matter a lot. Not all men buy into this, of course, but many do. Some seem incapable of entertaining the notion that not everything women do with their appearance is for men to look at. This is why men’s response to women discussing stifling beauty norms is so often something like “But I actually like small boobs!” and “But I actually like my women on the heavier side, if you know what I mean!” They don’t realize that their individual opinion on women’s appearance doesn’t matter in this context, and that while it might be reassuring for some women to know that there are indeed men who find them fuckable, that’s not the point of the discussion.

Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize//trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that.

That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men?

The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure."

Why You Shouldn’t Tell That Random Girl On The Street That She’s Hot » Brute Reason (via ellesugars)

BOOM

(via pluralfloral)

BAM.

(via jazzylittledrops)

Was thinking about this very subject today. Spot on.

(via jazzylittledrops)

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Notes

maroutian:

Why I Am a Male Feminist

The word turns off a lot of men (insert snarky comment about man-hating feminazis here) — and women. But here’s why black men should …be embracing the “f” word.

Like most guys, I had bought into the stereotype that all feminists were white, lesbian, unattractive male bashers who hated all men. But after reading the work of these black feminists, I realized that this was far from the truth. After digging into their work, I came to really respect the intelligence, courage and honesty of these women.

Feminists did not hate men. In fact, they loved men. But just as my father had silenced my mother during their arguments to avoid hearing her gripes, men silenced feminists by belittling them in order to dodge hearing the truth about who we are.

I learned that feminists offered an important critique about a male-dominated society that routinely, and globally, treated women like second-class citizens. They spoke the truth, and even though I was a man, their truth spoke to me. Through feminism, I developed a language that helped me better articulate things that I had experienced growing up as a male.

Feminist writings about patriarchy, racism, capitalism and structural sexism resonated with me because I had witnessed firsthand the kind of male dominance they challenged. I saw it as a child in my home and perpetuated it as an adult. Their analysis of male culture and male behavior helped me put my father’s patriarchy into a much larger social context, and also helped me understand myself better.

I decided that I loved feminists and embraced feminism. Not only does feminism give woman a voice, but it also clears the way for men to free themselves from the stranglehold of traditional masculinity. When we hurt the women in our lives, we hurt ourselves, and we hurt our community, too.

~ Byron Hurt
Read his entire post: http://www.theroot.com/views/why-i-am-male-feminist?page=0%2C0

Photo by Ellis Binks

(via annetdonahue)

Photos 201465
Notes

beeishappy:

TDS | TCR 2013.04.22 [x]

(via annetdonahue)

Quote 15800
Notes

"

Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of either gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.

Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

"

Lindy West for Jezebel: “If I Admit That ‘Hating Men’ Is a Thing, Will You Stop Turning It Into a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?” (via lauratheoutlandish)

(Source: jezebel.com, via bigfatfeminist)

Quote 56191
Notes

"Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room."

Marc Hack (via kittenjamie)

(Source: thelittleyellowdiary, via bigfatfeminist)

Video 284603
Notes

wanderlustandtethers:

cracked:

creatingaquietmind:

Dove hired a forensic artist to draw how women see themselves versus how others see them - the results are moving.

I fell in love with each of these women. And even more in love with the person whose idea this was.

Buy Dove

No. This hardly sits well with me. Dove, like every brand of toiletries, is pulling a (new demographic and/or a jaded “I give up, I can’t win!”) demographic in to the Beauty Industrial Complex. Instead of the usual marketing angle of making you feel bad about the way you look, Dove’s got you feeling bad about the way you think you look.

Here, it’s beauty as a thing you do, just for you and nobody else; a thing that’s there all along, you just have to find it / believe in it / be told by a stranger that it’s there.

Brilliant, considering the easiest way to get someone to do something is to make them think it was their idea. So here is one of Dove’s means of Inception-ing you into buying into the Beauty Industrial Complex. L’Oreal has a more straightforward means of this same tactic: Because you’re worth it.

My gripe: It isn’t womens’ duty to be beautiful. Not even on the inside. We’re not decorations (“stop telling women to smile,” etc.); beauty is an impossible goal that is constantly repackaged and sold in endless iterations: inner beauty, spiritual beauty, intellectual beauty (Smart Girls Are Pretty), so on.

Yesterday I had my 9-week-old child in for a 2-month well check. The doctor was late from his other practice location and I hung out in an employee area, away from the sick kids, and was “talking” with the kiddo.

Multiple times, nurses or front desk staff members passing through would remark on what a strong baby I had; what a tall baby I had (literally off the charts as a newborn and now). “So alert!” “What determination!” and so on.

And then: “how old is he?”

OHHH.

“She’s 9 weeks today.”

“Oh… She… she’s beeeeeeaaaauuuuutiful! What a little cutie! Look at those eyes! That smile! I’m sorry I thought she was a boy, most people put girls in pink…”

“Well. She’s still strong and tall and alert… and really, it’s an infant! There’s not a single reason anyone needs to know what kind of genitals.”

~50% of the population gets tasked with bearing the responsibility and efforts to be beautiful — to find beauty within, believe in their inner beauty, spiritual beauty, intellectual beauty.

It starts the instant you tell family and friends you have a daughter on the way; the instant the wardrobe cues go out to the strange public “what kind of genitals”; the instant you say “she” after a harmlessly assumed “he” because English ties gender into personal pronouns as if it A: matters and B: is an either/or thing.

“Beauty” in regards to the B.I.C. is a labyrinthine social construct and I’ll gladly hear nothing ever, or things like strong / alert / determined about the physical human I am and the new human I brought into the world than anything that supports the B.I.C. and perpetuates a cycle of obsessive self-deprecation and self-evaluation / reevaluation / empty-shelled metamorphoses based on perceived levels of beauty.

Sure, Dove is doing “it” differently, but they’re still plugged in to reaching the same goal as the rest; still selling women on the value of some flavor of beauty or another.

(Source: choosechoice)

Text I did not get the memo

To whoever is in charge,

Re: Today

I understand a memo was sent to me advising me to not bother getting out of bed today.

That memo was not received by me until mid morning. Well and truly to late.

Some helpful advice for future memos. Please make sure the memo is on the pillow next to me when I wake up or even better send it through email preferably the day before. This is 2013 now, we live in an age of being in constant contact.

Sincerely me xo

#somedaysshouldstayinbed

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Notes

Autumn has decided to arrive next Tuesday only 6 and 1/2 weeks late. Loving it.

#canberra #weather

Link 15
Notes Rehtaeh Parsons was my Daughter - A letter from a grieving father to Canadians and the World.

annetdonahue:

aniseshaw:

“To the Justice Minister of Nova Scotia

Rehtaeh Parsons thought the worst outcome for her case would be no charges against the men who raped her but we all know better. The worst thing that could happen would be charges. That they would be found guilty, and that Rehtaeh would sit on a court bench and listen in utter disbelief as they were given parole, or a suspended sentence, or community service. All for completely destroying her life while they laughed.”

I think it’s time for Canada to lead on dismantling rape culture in our justice system and in our country.

Please stop using the word “bullying” to describe youth on youth violence. Physical and sexual assault doesn’t become less serious if someone is 17 years old rather than 18, and any child or youth who is the victim of violence needs to know we take them seriously. Bullying is an infantilizing word that continues to diminish the trauma felt by our young Canadians

17-year-old Rehtaeh Parsons was another tragic example of the way our society not only allows for the existence of rape culture, but the consistent laziness of institutions to do anything to change it. (In this case, the RCMP, in other cases, governments, teachers, bosses, even parents, depending on the situation.)

What’s most heartbreaking is that this could have been avoided — and we know that. We know that, because we see it all the fucking time. We, as humans, but as women especially, who have to endure the wrath of rape culture nearly every day in some capacity. Yes, people are waking up, but frankly, far too slowly. While Retaeh Parsons is more than a victim of rape/assault/harassment/violence (and deserves to be remembered as being more than a victim, and for all the wonderful things she was — not just why and how she died), we can only hope that her tragedy will be the catalyst for change. Because she deserves that. Her family deserves that. Human beings deserve that. “That” being a complete intolerance for sexual violence and rape culture — no more free passes and no more excuses.

We owe it to Rehtaeh to fight for that.

Link 1343
Notes Awesomeness Abounds: On Kate Spade.

sequinsandsideeye:

I’ve been a loyal Kate Spade fan, nay lover, for years. One of my first indulgence bags was this boxy black nylon number that every girl on campus had. I loved Kate Spade. The bright colors! The beautiful clothing and accessories! I just knew I would be a fan for life.

So when it came…